it's a good thing I hate hospitals

Well, it's official: I don't count as a person in these United States of America. Or at least that was the way I interpreted this government's rude but probably not intentional oversight of my entire apartment building in the 2010 Census. And I love surveys more than ANYONE I know. Customer service, website satisfaction, whether I'm a fall or spring, I love them all.

So, in the interest of making sure Baltimore includes a hospital bed and locker at the nearest community center for me:

1. How many people were living or staying in this house, apartment, or mobile home on April 1, 2010? 2

2. Were there any additional people staying here on April 1, 2010 that you didn't include in question 1? No additional people

3. Is this house, apartment, or mobile home... Rented

4. What is your telephone number? Hmm, not for the fake internet version.

5-10: We're both white and not of Hispanic origin females who don't sometimes live in prison or a nursing home.

And for those of you who missed it, our own Gary Locke discussing the census with Jon Stewart:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Gary Locke Pt. 1
http://www.thedailyshow.com/
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Reform

spring cleaning results

Found: A never-worn top purchased in December, Erin Cooley's Christmas present (sorry, it's on its way to you soon), an overdue parking ticket, 3 stray socks, 8 bus tickets confiscated from a student after he stole them from another student, my left black Bandolio heel, India Arie's "Voyage to India" album.

Cleaned: 4 loads of laundry, my bedroom floor, the short upstairs hallway, the mud off my black flats, splotches of laundry detergent that dripped down the front of the washing machine, three piles in the downstairs entryway, my dishes from last night's dinner, my split ends (thank you new haircut).

Assembled: the black-out curtain on my skylight

Organized: my spring wardrobe, from right to left: blazer, cardigans/other light outerwear, work pants, skirts, work tops, going out/not appropriate for work tops, dresses.

Realizations: 1.) I really do not need to ever go shopping again. 2.) My bedroom looks a lot bigger when you can see the floor. 3.) Clorox disinfecting wipes are the ultimate cleaning tool. 4.) I should listen to India Arie more often. 5.) If I put my clothes away right after I wash them, I eliminate the need to iron (not like I iron anyway, so really just eliminates wrinkles). 6.) I've been using entirely too many parenthetical statements in recent blog posts. Use your words, not your punctuation.

put that away

As part of my rehabilitation into the civilized world (I've been pretty much comatose at home for the past week and a half), I hit the mall with some friends yesterday. I figure if I have to walk around, might as well do it somewhere that offers new shoes and built-in snack stops (thank you almond pretzels). On the wanted list was a spring/summer dress, preferably that could be tamed down for work and required little to no thought (aka special cleaning instructions, ironing, etc). I've blogged before about frustrations with clothing, and while shopping always on some level creates self-loathing and detriment to your psyche, this particular trip highlighted the latest annoyance on my fashion radar:

Clothing should cover your tush.

Now I realize that this is the 4th or 5th season now of dresses/tops that are made with leggings in mind. But I've just never been able to get behind the concept of buying a piece of clothing that automatically requires buying yet another piece of clothing. I do not own leggings, and God willing I never will have to. First of all, leggings are another trend that only flatters the 1% of the female population who do not have to worry about junk in their trunks. But for the rest of us who decide that chocolate cake is just a necessary part of life, we're faced with a bit of a challenge.

Second of all, I think I wore through my leggings phase during my childhood. And not just any leggings; we're talking full-on stirrup pants in every color made. I wore them to church, to school, to skating practice, you name it. Under skirts, under T-shirts, even under jeans as a sort of long-underwear effect for sledding or snow-involved outings.

But especially in this spring's fashion, the problem is now becoming that leggings are viewed as old news, or out of style. However, the garments usually made with leggings in mind are just as short, just as capable of creating a nice breeze through your legs. But girls and women just choose to go without, creating the all-t00-common exclamation from me of "you should wear your lady business on the inside of your clothes." I don't want to become the modesty police, but you've all seen it. The walk that, if just a bit more swagger was added, could easily resemble a Rielle Hunter photo shoot.

So ladies, if you're one of my friends who can rock the leggings look, rock on. And if not, just make sure we don't get to a place of reinstating the "but it's as long as my fingers" test for your next purchase. I finally convinced my dad a year ago that this wasn't necessary...

surrey with the fringe on top. in front of Ira.

Today, I got a delightful surprise. Instead of the usual 1-3 p.m. lull in my daytime TV lineup, I was delighted to find the classic "When Harry Met Sally" had just started. In addition to being a huge Meg Ryan fan, this movie is a STAPLE in any movie lover's repertoire. The movie is famous for two things on the surface: the idea that men and women can't be friends, and the fake orgasm over a turkey sandwich (on my bucket list, btw). But the film contains many subtle, but just as poignant, lessons:

1. "I never wanted someone to say, 'why don't you take me to the airport anymore?'" - Not quite as melancholy as Barbara's power ballod, but still gets on the list of dissapointments in a relationship. While Harry spends the whole movie justifying decisions that aim to save future pain, I think taking people to the airport is a true sign of friendship/love/whatever. No one wants to take a cab to an airport.

2. "If you want your taxes done, go for it. But when it comes to humpin and bumpin, Sheldon is not your guy." - We judge people by their names. Let's stop lying to ourselves.

3. "Do me a favor, for your own good, put your name in your books right now before they get mixed up and you won't know whose is whose." - The hardest part about breaking up is getting back your stuff. Especially when that stuff is your books.

4. "You were going to be a gymnast? Journalist. Right that's what I said." - I give Harry credit for this one, even though he's billed as a shallow chump for a lot of the movie. But I think when you haven't seen someone for 5 years, or even maybe 5 months, it's the effort to reconnect that counts. Let's stop getting caught up in all the damn details.

5. "He's never going to leave her." - NEVER. I'm just starting to have married friends, so I haven't had to deal with a friend dating a married person. But the mistress never gets the man. (Side note: I couldn't come up with a term for a man dating a married woman. I was trying to e gender neutral and not imply that it's only women who date married men. Chalk another one up for sexist language, ladies).

And, just in case you've never seen it:

call me old school

Last week, I reached the peak of a book-lover's adventure: a full-fledged, all-access day in the Library of Congress. Even though I've been in and around D.C. on several occasions, the Library of Congress was one of two places still left on my tourist to-do list (the other being the White House tour).

I was floored.

It's rooms and rooms and rooms and rooms of books. About everything. From everywhere. I didn't go in with a game plan, because I wanted to just emmerse myself in the experience of wandering the shelves and letting my nose lead me, if you will. Some of my finds:

-The Handbook to nonsexist writing: on my to-order list (be looking for an addition to the newsroom, Whitworthian folks). One nugget for you to move one step closer to gender-neutral language: don't ask someone to man the sails.

-Thomas Jefferson: the collected writings: this reference book, part of a series on presidential writings, offered letters, memos, official documents, and even annotated copies of Jefferson's life as told through his own recorded words. Bad ass.

-A biographical history of Morocco: Didn't really open this one, but intrigued.

-Dance! A handbook: fun fact - Fred Astaire died on my birthday. As one great dancer left the world, another one was born. Or at least another one with flare.

-Contemporary Women Poets- I read this one almost cover to cover. Shout outs to Margaret Atwood, Mary Oliver, Adrienne Rich, Paulette Jiles, Jennifer Maiden, and Carolyn Forches.

The visit was also an interesting exhibit of the greatest strengths, and weaknesses, of technological advances. While the Kindle is absolutely an asset to society, you really can't replace the smell of the largest library in the world with a 6-inch digital screen. You can't really grasp the vastness of our government's collected printed works by the size of the scroll bar. The collected Microsoft Word tracked changes on a state law just aren't as interesting as hand-scribbled frustrations. Who knows, maybe in 10 years my all-access library card will be nothing more than an Internet password...