west coast is the best coast

I think I've grown up taken for granted that any store available in Washington state obviously existed everywhere else in the country. I still remember when a friend moved to my elementary school from the Midwest and had never heard of Albertson's. I mean, where else do you buy groceries?

By now, I obviously understand the concept of regional chains. But never could I have prepared myself for the realization today that a beverage, made by a national bottling company, might be a foreign concept on the east coast:

No one here has ever heard of ruby red squirt.

This is my go-to beverage in almost any situation. I've been known to pour it in a Nalgene and take to a morning class as "juice" for breakfast. It was not uncommon at high-stress points to see me take down 2 or 3 in one night. And since my air-popper got here yesterday, I thought what a perfect Thursday evening: self-made popcorn and a light, refreshing fake fruit soda? But no, not a drop to be found. My roommate from Massachusets has never even heard of Squirt.

Another dream lost to the wind.