hipsters aren't supposed to complain

When I moved to Baltimore, most people assumed that traveling to D.C. is the same as driving to Kennewick in the Tri-Cities or the Valley in Spokane: a short inconvenience, but basically you're in the same town. And while I've been making the southern trek more often as I've gotten comfortable with the travel options (drive, drive to Metro stop, MARC train, regular train, light rail that I've yet to use), I've realized that Baltimore has one advantage over the "hipster" filled D.C.:

the escalators.

Almost any Metro station in D.C. requires use of potentially lengthy escalators to enter and exit the station. There are elevators and sometimes old-school stairs, but neither of these are seen as a cool-kid option unless you have an actual handicap that requires it. Part of the D.C. culture is being able to navigate these escalators, and they're unspoken but firmly upheld rules: static passengers hug the right side of the contraption, leaving commuters and eager beavers free to walk up or down on the left side.

But unless I'm with wanna-be hipster friends (aka Doug) who sigh heavily any time they (he) has to wait behind tourists who don't abide by the escalator code, you can find me gripping the right handrail and praying for my life. I've never been a huge fan of escalators anyway, but the entrance/exits to the Metro sometimes reach phobia-inspiring heights. The Wheaton station has the second-longest escalator in the Western Hemisphere (hence why this is not my park-and-ride station of choice). This past weekend when I had a small overnight bag with me to upset my normal sense of balance, we almost had a situation on our hands.

I don't know if it was my over-consumption of Rescue 9-1-1 as a child with William Shatner creeping us out with kids getting their arms sucked off, or just a general dislike of the awareness of heights (different than a fear of heights, in the sense that I'm fine with them until I realize how far off the ground I actually am). Anyone who's been to the Riverpark Square mall in Spokane can't say they've never looked down on the four-story open atrium from the moving staircase and thought "this is a good idea."

So for now, I'm working through the fear. And as far as the Metro goes, I'll take the stairs. At least when I'm moving down, anyway...