"it all sparkles"

This was Andrew Smith's sentiment as we meticulously studied every engagement ring in Tiffany's. twice. (props to him for being such a good sport about the hour and a half outing). And I feel like his sentiments reflect my general feelings about New York City.

This trip was my third to the Big Apple, and every time I go it's almost an unreal experience. It's as if the city is in some sort of Oobleck vortex: Not quite liquid, not quite solid, fun to play with and inevitably always slipping through your fingers. I've still only been to 2 of the 5 boroughs (although this trip I ventured into Greenwich Village for the first time), and still I just walk around, staring at the tall buildings and feeling like a girl from the sticks. That feeling was amplified this time, as my traveling companion was there on her maiden voyage.

I mean, some artists spend their whole lives writing, singing, or capturing images from this one city. Almost any good romance film is either set there, or refers to NY in some reference to the fufillment of true love (including You've Got Mail, my all-time favorite). Some have gone as far to say the city stars as the fifth character in "Sex and the City."

It's just, in Andrew's words, a place of sparkles.

P.S.: Weakley already posted her details of the trip, so I refer you to her blog for the specifics.

If you sext me, I'll unfriend you

2009 was not a positive year.

The New Oxford American Dictionary announced "unfriend" as the word of the year. And if that isn't depressing enough, the other additions to the list include sexting and netbook.

I thought that this was just a reflection of a bad year. After all, seeing people add Miley Cyrus to their music likes or having to constantly ignore requests to find out what Sesame Street character shares my bitter sense of humor are both valid reasons to see the "unfriend" feature rise to the top of Babel.

But upon further research, I'm not so sure 2009 is alone in its bias toward Negative Nancies. According to the American Dialect Society, which compiles the short list each year for words to earn the top honor, the best word of the year is "indicative or reflective of the popular discourse." And altough theirs is a different list than the NOAD, their past choices have not been much more promising. We had the bailout of 2008, preceded by subprime (2007), weapons of mass destruction (2002), and my personal favorite, plutoed (2006), meaning demoted or devalued. Even though I've never heard the latter used as a verb in real speech, the fact that it made the list just goes to show that we need to find something to pick our spirits up.

What happened to the 20th century, characterized by "jazz" as the Word of the Century? Or "she" as the Word of the Millennium? The 21st century is slipping through our fingers, or at least our mouths.

But we can fix this. Nominations for Word of the Decade are still open! And even better, the ADS's yearly conference this year is being held in none other than Baltimore. I'm ready to make our case for a word that can reach beyond a two-front war, the worst terrorist attack on American soil, having to look at Jon Goesslin's toolbag picture, and the complete mental breakdown of Britney Spears.. Think hard, my friends.

And just for fun, my suggestions for the Word of the Year subcategories:

-most useful: balls. It fits almost every exclamation I ever need to make.
-most unnecessary: melancholy. It doesn't really mean anything, and is sort of like consumption; it just stands for a whole bunch of other symptoms that don't really exist.
-most creative: trashcanistan. Thanks Neil Campell via Weakley.
-most delightful (my own category): saunter. It's just such a vivid image.
-most likely to succeed: rogue. After Sarah Palin's campaign-like book tour, it's only a matter of
time before this one is being used to refer to everything under the political sun. God save us all.
-least likely to succeed: fetch. Sorry Gretchen, if it hasn't caught on by now, it doesn't look good.

save me some room on the dirt floor

*Edited, thanks to Meredith. Shame on me for not proof-reading.

There's only one thing that makes me feel slightly worse than drinking Starbucks as I walk by a homeless person:

employees at mall kiosks.

I can't think of very many jobs worse than standing in between the Cinnabon and American Eagle, trying to get people to stop and try some new miracle-working face serum. There are two extremes of the kiosk employee. They could take the stalker approach, following you halfway down the corridor trying to convince you that a life isn't worth living without a new cover for your cell phone. Or, they take the "I'm a 16-year-old girl who can't be bothered to get my ass off this backless stool, let alone put my cell phone down." Either way, seems like a sad existence.

So yesterday, as I wandered the 3rd floor of the Towson Town Center, I gave into a particularly aggressive kiosker from the SEACRET beauty products neck of the woods. She had the speech memorized: use the buffer for just 3 minutes every two weeks, I should treat myself to something special, it's a great gift idea for the holidays, if I bought it today I could get two 4-piece nail kits for the price of one. She was pushy, and at times I wanted to push over her lotion samples and get the hell out of dodge.

But since I was at the mall to de-stress from a particularly taxing day of teaching, I thought I would give her a chance and not take my bad day out on the innocent kiosker. After all, we all have to put food on the table. I didn't buy the nail set (my generousity of spirit only goes so far). But I thought about it, if for nothing else to absolve my soul from the guilt of years of hurried paces and skillful avoidance of eye contact. And to think, I could've gotten two souls absolved for the price of one...

let's get physical

Halloween is probably one of the most stressful holidays for me, for one ridiculous reason: the costume.

I think Sarah's exact words to me last week went something like this: "Bacon, your costumes always blow." And she's right. I went through the ambiguous princess phase in early elementary school, and then moved into the attempts at sweet costumes that never quite made the cut. I believe I've tried both the M&M and Hershey Kiss costume, to name a few. But I never had one of those "all in one" costumes you can buy, that come with hat, sword, hydration materials, shoes, and pet accessories as needed. I always went for fast, cheap, and most durable in the face of inclemate weather. I also never can get behind the excuse to wear as little clothing as possible and pass it off as some sort of kitty cat, nurse, or officer of the law.

So this year, in a new town and somewhat new lifestyle, I knew that I had the chance to set a new tone. The goal was to replicate Olivia Newton John's "let's get physical" video. It turned into a conglomeration of bright spandex, tights, and orthopedic velcro shoes (note to any senior readers: you can spice those things right up with a nice pair of knitted leg warmers.) And I have to say, I was convincing. I got a handful of compliments on the costume, plus an excuse to dance like an idiot and pass it off as "fitting into character."

Other odd/admirable costumes spotted around town: a life-size box of Franzia wine, a guy with sponges that spelled "me", to represent being self absorbed, Wolverine, Abraham Lincoln and the Gettysburg Address (written on chart paper turned into a tube dress), and Roseanne.