journey

I'm in the middle of finishing up my English major's requirement of a senior portfolio. Granted, the intent of the 1-credit class is not to revise old work at the last minute that you did last minute in the first place, but nonetheless that is the route I have chosen. It's not as stressful as I anticipated throughout the semester, and actually has been an interesting process.

I look back on writing from last fall and spring, and some of it received orginial grades that I know think are total crap. In one essay about my name, for example, I have paragraphs that start about 8 different thoughts, and only half-finishes one of them. Who read this and thought it was coherent? Ugh. The other creative work is a play that has gone through 4 different endings just for the original assignment, and before the end of the night promises to add about 3 more to the tally.

Our department is always encouraging us to sumbit stuff for publication, no matter how small of a college's literary journal it might be. And as for the first time in my college career this semester I'm not taking a creative writing course, I've been realizing how much I miss writing for writing's sake. I'm not a faithful journaler, nor do I very often just sit with my computer and record random thoughts (with the occasional exception of this blog). But it's been making me think: what drives a writer to write? It's not as if this semester I've had less noteworthy observations about the world around me. In fact, I've regretted on several occasions not writing down a thought or phrasology, and subsequently can no longer remember it. Do we write for ourselves, thinking that if you get all the crazy out on a hard piece of paper it will free up room in your brain for more thoughts of substance? Do we write for others, to prove that we can communicate in a somewhat organized and useful manner? Or do we write for writing's sake, to fuel the firey power that words can have to change lives or start revolutions? I don't know what revolution I want to start, but I have the sinking suspicion it's a goal worth working towards.