what I would someday like to do with my life

For any of you that follow the news on a somewhat daily basis, it will come as no surprise that many commentaries have been swarming around a recent set of articles about the French marriage that was annulled because of a "breach of contract" when the man found out his new wife was not, in fact, a virgin. Both parties involved were Muslim. The story has met huge uproar from French secularists that worry religious tendencies are infiltrating the judicial system.

A few days later, a related article was published about a surgery in Europe that creates a new hymen in women, essentially surgically recreating the technical aspect of virginity. Most have the surgery for either personal religious purposes or to abide by families who want proof of virginity before they will bless an upcoming marriage.

And now, one blogger has combined these two issues with a recent "purity ball" held in Colorado Springs, where fathers pledged to their daughters to help protect their sexual purity, aka to keep them virgins until marriage. This ball was heavily debated on The View (yes, I watch it, don't judge) and other talk shows. And while I agree with some of her points, I think one commenter was right: a father pledging to protect a daughter's virginity is not comparable to incest.

But on another note, this topic is one that I hope to one day actually do something tangible with. If you are a reader that goes to college with me, then you know that I recently worked on a series for the Whitworthian about why certain people make the decision to or not to have sex, in a variety of relationship types. If you haven't gone to college with me, then you might know that I faced my share of the rumor mill in high school about my level of sexual activity. And if you're just a cool kid who likes to hear what I have to say, then hear this: I think one of the biggest tragedies in this country is that young women do not feel like they have the right to make their own decisions about sex. This could be either to keep screaming "No!" at the top of her lungs at the neighborhood love spot until he drives her home, or not being ashamed of her decision to be more intimate, whatever that capacity may be. The education aspect is a whole other debate, that I don't think anyone wants to read at this point. I think young girls need to feel empowered either way, whatever their decision, to be able to talk openly about it with peers, youth groups, even parents.

The other sad angle to this recent chatter about sexuality is the saddening omittance of the male perspective. It is by no means just the girls who should be talking about purity balls or religious morality. Guys have just as much right to say no, or yes, or just to say something at all. We need to start the discussions in a variety of atmospheres and include a diverse religious and socioeconomic voices. I hope someday I could be a part of helping make these discussions happen.